Run 2283 – 28th March 2011

Summer’s End and Swampy Sends the Hash to Say… … farewell to Summer Whine, welcome Winter’s Beef (Bourguignon à la Grape).

Google Earth : Run 2283

We headed straight into the boosh from Cromer Heights’ wacky little shopping centre with the fast men like Lightning and Music – who’d both gone missing last week – leading the way up and out. There seemed no checks on an endless fire trail. Or was that just an elusive illusion? Indeed – for this swan song by our Trailmaster was managed superlatively – the speedsters lead doubly astray by by his No Checks/Only Checkbacks policy – tonight discombobulated by the absence of any actual checkback markings! By the time the TM had called them back, a thousand hairy walkers were cluttering the track up most conversationally.

Now, which name is missing from the speedsters above? Why Plunger of course. He may have white hair these days, but the silly boy forgot his running shoes; and teacher was duely unimpressed at the On On. But almost qualifying as replacements for our pet plumber were Wally G and Colonel S – both in sparkling (if breathless) form. And the TM himself seemed to be burning with something unusual – guilt over his retrospectivity last week; or anger over something congregational??? But his little legs were moving like a Hobbit on fire!

The sunset over Belrose was a joy to behold for the slower amongst us – especially for visiting Hong Kong Hashman Tinworth, who rarely gets to see the sunset in his polluted bit of South China these days. Good to hear from him that H4 refuses to set walkers’ trails despite its increasing age. But, back to the sylvan view; one just hopes all Poshmen took it in – for surely Fatty O’Barrell and his Urban Taskforce mates will have it covered in houses before we visit Cromer again.

Talking of which, Swampy the Hare did finish the Last Summer run on the encroaching roads, just to prepare us for the miseries of winter ahead, he claimed. Once again speedsters Cinders and Superglue ran more than a kilometre down a checkback, but claim to have enjoyed the extra distance. By the way, since it has emerged that the inventor of Superglue – Harry Wesley Coover has slipped off this mortal coil despite his invention, perhaps we should honour his memory by changing Bostock’s name to Cyanoacrylates – the chemical name for the sticky stuff.

The rest of us ran 7.099 kilometres according to Your Choice’s magic watch. The walkers didn’t. And none of us got to enjoy our last supper under the stars. Wimpy committee? Or fussy chef? The Buckmaster’s final act was a Boeuf Bourguignon to die for. Let us pray that winter hares at least try to match this standard with either their own home cooking or a selection of fine food restaurants that cook as well. Never mind the run, get the dining right! Why even Moonbeams and the ever-more-Nomadic Notary turned up in prospect of it!

On On – Goonshow

* (For those not in the know, the On On was changed in deference to the sensibilities of the near neighbours, allowing you to provide the usual raucous behaviour , and debauchery generally observed at On On’s) On Sec

It’s been rumoured an un-named Posh Hashman was stopped by the police driving home from the On On and was asked where he was going at that time of night. The Hashman replied “I’m going to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body” The officer asked “Really? Who is giving the lecture at this time of night?”

The unnamed Hashman replied, “My wife!”

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