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RUN NO. 2699 -11th March 2019 Copra, Cinders & Scotsman

SYDNEY HASH HOUSE HARRIERS

Rippers Run Report 11th March 2019 Run 2699

Gentlemen, Threatening skies held off for another fine nite. St Ives Showground is a wonderful venue, redolent with history of the Great Sydney Inter-Hash 30 years ago where 12 runs all finished simultaneously in a heaving mass of humanity and testosterone. Lurch set all 12 runs and he came along tonite to pay homage to his amazing achievement.

Back to the pre-bucket bucket. It was reported that more than 10 athletes refrained from leaving the bucket in case it rained or their cat was sick or ….! Our Hares Copraphilia, Flying Scrotum and Cinderella were in their prime, extolling the virtues of the run to the assembled throng. Copra declared it “one of the most fantastic runs you’ve ever seen”. When asked had he seen it ? he said about 16 times ! credibility problem ?.

Your hairs, foto bombed by Darwin Don (Gyppo parachuted in) This is where the bucketeers should have gone. These must certainly be the most detailed run maps and instructions in Hash history. Every Hare should study them.

The Hares taking instructions from Darwin

If we had a Van Gogh and Ernest Hemingway Award for Run maps and instructions, this entry would be the Gold Star. And Cinders in his precise way has had them audited, and their BAS and tax returns have also been completed And some fascinating places along the way, Phantom Falls, Whipbird Gully, Billys Bridge, Tree Fern Gully Falls and the Kuringai Wildflower Gardens. Scud liked the run, though he found the steps back up difficult, aside from that he said it was a perfect length. Lurch slipped on some pine needles and exited stage right. The On On Rosie, a close friend of Lightning’s who has a Thai restaurant at Terry Hills, delivered truly delicious pelican pudding and native quoll wings, with more rice and crackers than Lightnings horses could finish the next day.

David
Sweaty returnees

Where’s Dogface when you need him ? The meal was served however it was known that some were not yet in … The above, usual suspects, came in very late and wet, very sweaty wet. On the left is visitor David, (hope he returns) And at 8.10 quietly joining the crowd were Lightning and Goanna. Just proves : you can still get lost with the best maps. “Not lost they said !” There was plenty of food for the late comers and still seconds. Tic Toc finished his meal before we went home !

Down Downs : – Hares – Copra, Cinders and Flying Scotsman – Jungle Jim & Wee Willy for their raid on unsuspecting kiwis. – – Captain Bligh for driving an old car to the run – Scud with his new “Casanova” hair do -Goonshow for extolling the virtues of socialism but holidaying in yuppy Byron Bay- the home of the rich & famous!

A welcome back to visitors David & Frank and great to see Lurch 2 weeks in a row plus Grape back in the fold again! Birthday Down Downs for : Music Man, Your Choice and Ayatollah   Sick Parade : – Mr Neat isn’t so neat at the moment, but he’s got a long chance. – XXXX isn’t great either, he’s a bit of a clot

Next Weeks Run 18th March 2019 Run 2700

When 5.30 Be early to register and collect your shirt Note your shirt will be a Collectors Item to be worn with pride for years to come. (Some Hashmen will not wear theirs to preserve them for their grandchildren) Your shirt has the artwork of a legend, Tic Toc and from the china factories of Le Petit Merde. We are truly fortunate to have such talent and capability amongst us. Where : 3 Grattan Close French’s Forest

On On On Sec

Coming Events : Full Moon HHH Run 331 at 4:30 pm Hare: Next Week and All Fours Time: 4:30 p.m. Date: Sunday 24th March, 2019 Start: Car Park near to Naremburn Pizzeria 300 Willoughby Road, Naremburn

For anyone who cant sleep, try this : Major Disasters run report of 2nd January 2012 This is what happens to Hon Secs over time… memorial distortion and use of capitals.

Subject: MONDAY NIGHT’S SOMETHING TO DESCRIBE IT AS A MONUMENTAL FUCK-UP WOULD BE A GROSS DIS-SERVICE TO MONUMENTAL FUCK-UPS OF THE PAST STRETCHING ALL THE WAY BACK TO MOSES. THINGS STARTED TO UNRAVEL EARLY IN THE PIECE. SALTY IMMEDIATELY RECOGNISED THE PROBLEM AND TOOK OFF TO CHECK WITH THE HARE, THE CROOK CHOOK, WHO HAD BOOKED HIMSELF INTO EITHER THE LOCAL RETIREMENT VILLAGE OR THE LADY DAVIDSON HOSPITAL. ONLY MOMENTARILY IT WAS HOPED, LEAVING THE WANDERING TRIBES TO KEEP WONDERING. LEFT TO THEIR OWN DEVICES, THE PACK, RUNNERS, WALKERS AND CRIPPLES, SIMPLY SCATTERED. NATURALLY MAJOR DISASTER WAS A SPECIAL CASE. POLITENESS PREVENTS ME FROM SAYING HE HAS SOME SORT OF CONTAGIOUS SOCIAL DISEASE OR SUFFERS FROM EXTREME FLATULATION. BE THAT AS IT MAY, OTHER RUNNERS, WALKERS AND ASSORTED CRIPPLES GENERALLY AVOID HIM AND HEAD IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION. MONDAY WAS NO EXCEPTION. ALL ALONE, NATURALLY FOLLOWING TRAIL, HE CAME TO A CHECK BACK ALONGSIDE THE RIVER, BUT HIS SHARP EYES SAW FURTHER ARROWS BEYOND THE CHECK BACK, LEADING TO ……”FUCK-ME” YET ANOTHER CHECK BACK !! WITH THE RIVER ON ONE SIDE AND A STEEP CLIFFS AND ACCOMPANYING BUSH STRETCHING EVER UPWARDS ON THE OTHER, TO HOPEFULLY GO ON SEEMED TO BE THE BEST OPTION. BUT THERE WAS NO TRAIL FURTHER ON, OR EVEN FURTHER THAN THAT. TO CLIMB UPWARDS AND HOPE FOR BETTER THINGS HAD NOW BECOME THE BEST OPTION, SEEING THAT IT WAS NOW APPROACHING EIGHT O’CLOCK AND DARKNESS WAS CLOSE AT HAND. HOWEVER ! SOMETHING ELSE, NO, SOMEONE ELSE WAS CLOSE AT HAND. IT WAS “MOSES” PEDANTIC, COMPLETE WITH GUIDE DOG, WHO HAD ARRIVED TO LEAD HIM OUT OF THE WILDERNESS. “COME DOWN MAJOR”, THE ENLIGHTEN ONE CALLED, “I KNOW THE WAY OUT OF HERE, ABOUT ONE “K” FURTHER ON, WE WILL HIT A FIRE TRAIL WHICH TAKES US HOME”. THE DOUBTING MAJOR LOOKED AT THE ENLIGHTEN ONE AND THEN THE GUIDE DOG, AND THE DOG NODDED. SO OFF THE THREE SET. AFTER ABOUT HALF AN HOUR, MAJOR D WAS INFORMED IT COULD BE TWO K…. APPROACHING NINE O’CLOCK IT HAD STRETCHED TO TWO AND A HALF K, MEANWHILE THE GUIDE DOG HAD GIVEN UP AND GONE HOME. WHAT EVER TRAIL EXISTED, WAS PROBABLE JUST A BARE STRIP WASHED BY THE HIGH TIDE, NOW STREWN WITH FALLED TIMBER BUT THE ENLIGHTENED ONE PLUNGED ON, “NOT MUCH FURTHER”, IT WAS AFTER NINE, AND MAJOR STUMBLED ON SILENTLY VOWING NEVER TO WRITE ANOTHER ILLUMINATING STORY ABOUT PEDANTIC’S EXPLOITS, MEANWHILE PEDANTIC ALSO COMPLETELY LOST, STOPPED EVERY SO OFTEN TO CALL UPON DIVINE INTERVENTION OR THE GUIDE DOG FOR ASSISTANCE, MAJOR WASN’T SURE WHICH. -JUST DIVINE INTERVENTION DID INDEED RESPOND WHEN SUMMONED AND APPEARED OUT OF THE DARNESS IN THE SHAPE OF MONSIEUR LE TIC AND HIS GAFFER, GOANA. ARMED WITH HIS TRUSTY PHONE CUM CAMERA CUM TORCH, MONSIEUR LE TIC RESCUED THE FORLORN PAIR AND GUIDED THEM UP TO BOBBIN ROAD. MILES FROM ANY WHERE BUT AT LEAST ON THE ROAD TOWARDS HOME AT LAST. THE FINAL PART PLAYED IN THIS UNFORTUNATE SAGA WAS SUPPLIED BY “JUNK MAIL” WHO VERY GRACIOUSLY DROVE DOWN THE STEEP, WINDING ROAD TO GIVE THEM A LIFT BACK HOME. IT IS NOT KNOWN WHETHER THE GUIDE DOG ENJOYED THE CURRY AT THE ON ON. THE LEACH LADEN-ED MAJOR DIDN’T STOP TO FIND OUT BUT HEADED HOME FOR THE SALT CELLAR, Still awake ? C U AT THE 2700th

RUN NO. 2697 -25th February 2019. Calici & Ian

Rippers Run Report 25th February 2019

Run 2697 Gentlemen,

The Run : Our hares; Calicivirus and Ian Allan, Calicis mate; and ours for the Booklyn Classic every year. We assembled at Parsley Bay, Brooklyn hoping for an adventurous run, the weather was perfect, the barges arrived like clockwork. Our hare Calici drove down the launching ramp, his car is not amphibious, though his action aroused our curiosity; he was delivering the bucket.

We boarded, our drivers eyes lit up when he saw beer being loaded on board, and away we went at 30 kph ! Those oyster barges move fast; faster than oysters ! We flew down the Hawkesbury till Lion Island and the Tasman sea loomed large, then we went left into the Broken Bay National Fitness Camp where we landed on the beach, landing craft style, sort Gallipoli re-enactment however instead of Turks we had bush turkeys.

Off the beach and into the wilds. Up, up and up we went, a very steep climb. The country was beautiful, we all spoke of the natural bush beauty, tall eucalypts, including many angophoras, and fairly open county underneath with rich tropical plants and magnificent rocks. A good check back at the top put the fast walkers in front; Moishe and Ripper; Scotsman soon powered through. Bummie wisely decided to turn back rather than face more unknowns than Rummie. Payling and TicToc took some great photos which are included in this report, thanks boys.

Our Trailmaster for the night was Plunger; Lightning was kept in by Johnno’s schoolmistress who kept him back for some ‘special disciplinary coaching’. The trail master, Plunger was a Mussolini man, he checked out the front while it was safe, then he directed the run from the rear. Plunger made sure there was no one left on the track and finally just as the bucket was nearly over, he brought in a few prisoners; including Smiley and his mate, Ian Symington. Thanks Plunger for helping out. One of the best things about the Hash is : when you ask for help its always given generously.

We ran along the ridge through big rocks until a very steep descent into the national fitness camp and then back along the beach Back to the warm bucket, such a balmy night in an exceptionally isolated place. People travel half way round the world on their annual holidays to experience what we did last night…. that is special. It was a short run, in a special place. Calici tried hard to make it longer, still it was a run we should never forget….this with the OnOn is the best of hashing.. Thanks Calici and Ian

The sexiest girl on the night has a joystick and 4 wheels Leaving Brooklyn and below; Gallipoli Landing The Boosch lost backpackers On the Beach Heading home

The ON ON It was back to the same cafe as previous years where we are always cared for : The trailer was on site and we all sat at our tables on the pavement outside, Our numbers grew there were about 35 on the boats, then about 39 at the On On. Darwin, and Hanoi decided to pass on the boat ride. Molly stayed with them and introduced them to the evils of drink at the Anglers Rest. Yakkity Copraphillia and Wanker arrived too late for the boats !! Yakkity stayed but the others trained home to avoid our advice….

On arrival Darwin had scraped his arm and removed skin. Molly’s ‘friend’ Di (nurse Nancy) collected supplies and came to Brooklyn to dress his wounds. That’s very special, Thank You Di.

Dinner was pies, salad and quiche for real men. The lamb and rosemary pie was delicious, everyone seemed happy. Molly announced that Darwin has cancer in his lymph gland and is receiving chemo, he is still expected to make 100 and will not let us down !

Down Downs President Smiley gave the following

• Changi for returning after 3 months with a broken foot bone

• Sheep Dip – after illness

• The Hares Calici and Ian Allan

Visitors

• Ian “Symo” Symington – Smiley’s mate from his Whacker golfing group

• David -Lightning’s mate – his second hash run – great to see you back again

• Gregg Kett – Music’s mate and another Porch driver

• Warwick Behag, an employee of TicToc ! and MBR’er

• Birthdays Wrappa – president of the Crappa’s Bumcrack for joining the Manfred Club and turning 80 last Sunday

and there we were in the street having a wonderful time

Upcoming Events

Wed 27th Feb Harriettes 40th Anniversary … End of Robertson St Narrabeen On On : Sand Hotel Cnr Pittwater Rd and Robertson St

Monday 18th March Posh 2700th Run- See Flyer below, Pay now $30 !! pay cash to Cap’n Bligh on next 2 Monday nights or pay on-line to the Hash A/c BSB 112-879 Acc 154706831 + your hash handle ..

Next Weeks Run : Hares: Wrapper and Pilko Location: Ingleside scout camp, Bloodwood Road, Ingleside. 6.30 pm. Territory: ” I love a sunBURNT country” Bring Torches, phone and water and DILLY bags. On on: on site Master Chef Pilko will be barbecuing a special healthy surprise

Somelliers Sniff : by Phil Glass Highly recommended : 2016 Longhop Old Vine Grenache. Full flavoured with dark cherries,earthen spices and silky tannins——A Ripper! Available from Different Drop for $19 For an amazing $6.99 Aldi also have a great wine from Chile. 2018 Luis Felipe Edwards Carmenere,a red variety big on smooth blckcurrant and cherry fruit characters. At the famous G3 lunch on Friday courtesy of Sommelier Swampy a 2017 Villa Pozzi Nero Davola from Sicily got the “thumbs up” as being an excellent bargain at $8.50 from Dan Murphy. Great mouth feel and smooth savoury tannins!

ON ON Hon Sec

More on Goonshow : After 40 long years Hashing: crumbling a bit, uneven round the edges, soft in the centre (but with a heart of gold), leaning slightly to the left. Some would say cheap, too..but not us…after that nutritious anniversary cake, encrusted with Smarties of all things, and accompanying 100 year old port sporting perished cork and upended ullage. Congrats to the Goon..

Run-No-2696 Flying Scotsman, Goonshow & Little Shit at Morgans Rd, Model Aero Club

Run Report 18th February 2019 Run 2696
Gentlemen,
The Run : It was an action packed program; starting with an emergency call from Little Shit requesting an email to all poshmen to close the gate after entry to the Warringah Radio Controlled Something (WRCS). Email sent; then LS worried that not all can read emails so he posted himself at the gate, as a security guard, to stop native animals
leaving by road; given there are no fences they had other options.  On arrival, trailer is being set up and eshit (it was quite a shitty night) is assembling his own model aeroplane, a few screws loose and away he went, his plane was quite a good lawn mower as it scooted through the grassy field, …many times. Finally it yawned up 6 feet in the air and nose
dived, broken.. ho hum, eshit lived to fight another day, the plane is hoping for a good hospital and a new owner. see photos at very end !

Back to the run;
The hares were Goonshow and Flying Scotsman and maybe Little Shit; there was uncertainty whether Little Shit was involved but the boys said he kept turning up and telling them what to do !
Goonshow gently informed us that there were not 3 but 4 runs ! a very short walk, a short walk, a walk and a run and away we went up the entry road, then it was bush, boosh and boosh Hanoi Bill and Copaphillia were testing each other, Copra’s walking sticks
gave him an advantage. Foxface was out for a go. Krudd was arriving in his car when we were at the top of the hill.

Some walkers; TicToc, Ripper and visitor David; walked the runners trail and took 95 minutes to stagger home, a short trail of 8.9k’s. A Great run Great country and the best laid trail, there was flour, arrows or paper every 30m the whole way round….perfect, we can all do this….please… keep your mates on trail except for checks.

Notice.. Bigfoot has gone off the reservation !! We think he may have felt abandoned after a recent run in the Mosman area Some Poshmen have volunteered to clone Bigfoot and this would be welcomed, even by Bigfoot who would sometimes enjoy a Monday off with his mates.
Best part of the run was the last man in was Lightning ! He had been shepherding some walkers, then decided to do the runners trail to get in a good run, and can you believe ?? he got lost !! Fantastic.

The ON ON
1. Captain Bligh organised a fantastic meal of pork things, pulled wallaby, and amazing
salads that he himself made personally. !! With Goonshow & LS.

Followed by
2. Smiley from Returning from Crescent Head
3. Visitors – Frank & David ( Lightning’s horsey
mates) & Malcolm ( mates with E Shit/Krudd/
Wee Willy & Plunger) Very welcome, come again.
4. Hash Pal – Nautilus returning from Diamond Head (near Forster
Tuncurry) and Pilko for receiving an RFS award recognizing his
many years of service helping the community & environment.
5. Hash medical report- Lost Patrol, White Shit, Sheep Dip & 4X
6. Goonshow for 40 years of hashing – in HK H3 & SH3 – presented
with Certificate of Achievement
7. Peedub for his Birthday tomorrow and 41 years of Hashing and being the best puller in the Hash, of the trailer that is….
An Unsung Hero of the Hash is 777.
He is the Trailer Master, and has everything organised every week that we have the trailer, and he does the OnOn beer, Dont forget to thank him, he is gold.
Upcoming Events

Wed 27th Feb Harriettes 40th Anniversary … promo coming
Monday 18th March Posh 2700th Run- See Flyer below, Pay now $30 !!
24-26 May SH3 Goulburn Weekend – 56 have already booked:
Please note : Accommodation, The only recommended accommodation remaining is the Goulburn Central Motor Inn (The Astor Suites and Goulburn Motor Inn are fully Booked)
Call Ms Sam at Goulburn Central Motor Inn phone 02 4821 1655 to secure your bed now Cnr Auburn & Verners Street, Goulburn Standard Rooms $99 for 1 person, $105 for 2 people Deluxe rooms $105 for 1 person, $129 for 2 people And Pay Hash Cash BSB 112-879 Acc 154706831 + your hash handle ..$80pp for Goulburn and $30 for 2700th Run, have you fucking booked yet ? R U sick of these messages ? just fucking do it !

Next Weeks Run MONDAY, 25 FEBRUARY. Run 2697
IT’S ON AGAIN…THE BROOKLYN CLASSIC
Presented by those hardy mariners, MASTER BATES and SEAMAN STAINS.
The oyster barges will leave sharp at 18:00 hrs from the boat ramp at the end of George St, Parsley Bay. Arrange to arrive at Brooklyn by 17:30 hrs.
From the station walk up the side of the Welcome Inn pub and follow the road around to the left and down to the boat ramp. Plenty of parking is available there.
Remember, we depart at 18:00 hrs sharp.
We have secured 2 barges and a banana boat, so plenty of places.
Bring a change of clothes. NO dilly bags.
Dinner is within walking distance and the station is then across the road.
So see you there for the annual BROOKLYN CLASSIC.
Bring phone, torch, water

Run 2474 – 1st Dec 2014

Kyhber & Wrappa –  The “Great Expectations”* Run

Oxford Falls

Great Expectations was the theme of the night from Khyber and Wrappa

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As the rain was threatening from a distance, the hares and hashmen alike were hoping for the Gods to spare the Oxford Falls run, Even Ayatollah in far off Forster and ever diligent in his JM role, sent an urgent SMS through to the hares – what is your contingency plan if it rains?? –“ get fucked” said Khyber in his normal diplomatic way as he knew the Gods were with the hares tonight

Changi was winging his way from far off Top Ryde hoping this was not a repeat of the Superglue washout from several weeks earlier ,as Viginus Illegitimus ,welcoming back San Francsico, who with his bandaged and painful knees, a legacy from his heady playing days for the Vancouver Irish rugby club  was going to make a good fist of the walk

Major Disaster was taking a special interest as Khyber announced to the pack that the walkers should not walk the runners trail unless they wanted to get in late and dark. Major, an expert in these matters was very mindful and said to himself that he would get in early this time showing that he had learnt from the past!

The pack was off as a slight sprinkling had started – up the mountain bike ramps and obstacle course.

Of course there are always latecomers as Duckweave and Frenchie had not set their alarm clocks correctly and arrived 10min after the pack had gone

 As usual the pack was led off by Scotsman, Superglue, Plunger , Last Card Louis Your Choice and Changi setting a pace up while Kitty Litter had put on his shoes on the wrong feet and was cursing his fumbling fingers as he took off some minutes behind the rest of the pack

2474 2

Tyre Fruck and Pilko ( welcome back mate) were joined by S Bends as they made their way to the top of the hill and entered the main Morgan Road fire trail, a well known landmark of many hash runs past.

With the committee down on numbers and keen to cook a traditional hash meal, Centrepoint and Captain Bligh, having negotiated the ramps and obstacles headed back downhill again to start the gourmet meal.

Through the main gate and then after a short distance the track took a left turn which lead down to the main valley fire trail into the valley. The pack was well spread out now into the runners led by Scotsman and Super, the lesser runners led by Grape and Colonel Sanders and the walkers led by Calici , Jungle Jim and Moishe.

BTG, and Moishe , were enjoying the great scenery and solitude of the bush, interspersed with BTG’s pearls of wisdom coming like spears from the heavens.

2474 3
The front runners had raced ahead as Druid, the walkers trailmaster, with Yakkity, had questioned a well -marked steep incline to the right.

After studiously and impressively studying his map, Druid in an authoritative manner exclaimed that this trail was utter bullshit and a falsely – “keep going straight ahead boys –

I know a falsey when I see one” as the gullible pack blindly followed his instructions

 Jungle Jim, ever the sceptic, had heard this Druid crap before and proceeded to climb the steep embankment to prove the falsey was indeed really the trail and called the boys On On.

The different walking styles of Moishe and BTG

Jungle Jim, ever the sceptic, would not swallow this Druid edict has he scrambled up the rough embankment

Seeing Jungles lead, followed up the steep incline went Wombat, Jack the Ripper and Goanna ( showing a spare tyre these days) only to be confronted by a Wrapparound “rope “special at a sandstone rampart. It was noted by the trailmaster that all the hash had negotiated the commando course set by the hares.- well done boys!

2474 4

 

Calici Virus demonstrating how to do it

Once to the top, the track led into the main fire trail again.The runners splitting left to the flying fields and the walkers headed up to the famous Aboriginal carving at the top of the sandstone escarpment.
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Scud went to investigate with Johnno, Goonshow and Mr Neat , discovering  numerous Aboriginal  carvings  including a  Erik Von Daniken lookalike spaceman carving.

Wombat showing the benefits of his commando training

The shadows were getting long now as the setting sun saw Tyre Fruck, Major Disaster and Pilko doubting their plans as they contemplated a night in the bush with the little creatures.

2474 6

Once again the fast runners Flying Scotsman and Superglue had strode first into the cabal passing Duckweave who had shortcut after walking by himself for most of the hour

As darkness approached most of the pack had returned including Tic Toc, San Franciso , Saltpetre ,Goonshow and Goanna to smell the fragrances of a gourmet sausage dinner being carefully prepare by President Peedub, Centre Point and Captain Bligh .

The evening was now perfect as the pack received a great meal of carefully cooked sausages, mash with specially selected baked beans and onions – what a meal!

Lighting was relieved, as out of the darkness, emerged  the 3 lost souls of Major Disaster, Tyre Fruck and Pilko – whew that would have been an interesting search thought Lightning as he breathed a sigh of relief.

While the pack was enjoying the conviviality of the evening, a far flung table of Duckweave, Frenchie, Biggamist , San Franciso & co were enjoying a superb bottle of Lanhaus red that the esteemed President had secreted onto their table.

On another table Johnno was checking out dirty jokes on his 3G phone in case he was called up to present . Meanwhile,Tic Toc, in a whisper, commented that the sausages were definitely not undercooked, but nicely tinged with a dusting of carbon. With Little Shit away and only 5 committeemen to slave upon the Hash, self -service wine and beer was the order of the night.

After the melted icy poles were served,the hares, Khyber and Wrappa were up for a well- deserved down down.

Next was the welcoming of our newest Hash member , Nigel, who has had significant notoriety since his naughty escapes with Plunger had been exposed to the masses

Down Downs were in order for San Franciso, Pedantic and Mr Attention Deficit syndrome , E Shit who was denied the opportunity for any more exposure following his outrageous behavior for the mass distribution travel report from Amsterdam. (Wally Grout will issue a Jihad if it continues!)

 

Some entertaining jokes were told by Peedub, Wombat , SBend (  alias McTavish Epstein) and a finale with Tic Toc’s Nigel’s ( there is that name again) ashes blow job joke.

 

Scotsman announced next week’s run at Red Hill as Peedub guaranteed that he could open the gate ! to the doubting Scotsman.

 

A great but long runners and walkers run with camaraderie in the beautiful bush

On On for next week.

 

Apres On On Joke – Peedub in his desire for additional sausages and nourishment accepted an offering from Lightning who had picked up some kangaroo shit for Peedub to savour !!

Your Hash Journey

2474 7

Brought to you by Your Choice

Distance Elevation           8.04km

Elevation Gain                   214m

Calories burnt                  655C

Receding Hairline

 Runs:

Next Week’s Run:

Run No 2475 December 8th: Flying Scotsman and Yakkity Yak  Red Hill Reserve, off Lady Penryn Drive, Beacon Hill

  • Run No 2476 December 15th: Grape and Colonel Sanders, RFS fire station Warrigal Dr, Westleigh West Pennant Hills
  • Run No 2477 : SH3 Christmas Run December 22nd : JJ Melbourne Reserve, Terry Hills: lock in your diaries NOW ; A Committee Run – The Posh Christmas Run with all the  Christmas trimmings  including Harriettes
  • Run No 2476 December 29th: Last Card Louis, Turramurra

 

Run 2473 – 24th Nov 2014

Run No. 2473 Run Date: November 24th 2014

Go west young men and the Secret Garden by Berowra Creek –
Hares: Changi and Salpetre

Changi and Salpetre had discovered a “magic garden” secret nestled above Berowra
Creek that was soon to be revealed, as the some 30+ hashmen arrived at the Schofield
Parade start.
( name after Jack Schofield, a Sydney Morning Herald Racing writer from the 30’s and
40’s who purchased the land in 1935)
Regrettably the hash has regressed to a motley bunch of umbrella equipped seniors
gathering for the start notably Jungle Jim, Centrepoint, Calici Virus , S Bends and
even Goonshow – at least they were colour co-ordinated !
Col Sanders was there with Grape discussing next week’s run on December 15th,
hoping to learn from the cunningly set run from Masterclass hares, Changi and
Salpetre.
Sheep Dip made a welcome return to the Hash after many weeks away however was
corrupted by Centrepoint in sporting umbrellas so they would not get their hair wet –
even Calici Virus, back from his Thai adventures, had also succumbed to the softness
of older age and was observed strolling with Scud with their umbrellas in a strong
embrace.
The French Connection was making a good go of it, as Captain Bligh, in total view of
the walkers announced it was too wet for him and returned to the bucket as did
Ayatollah who was on a gourmet salmon mission.
Goanna, decided that his reputation for being last each week had to stop and had
hatched a plan to invite an unsuspecting “business associate” to take the heat ( in fact
he was a “Goanna beaten-up” supplier who was told “ if you want the order mate, you
better turn up tonight and take the heat away from me “
The rain was easing as the pack headed across and then parallel to Tedbury Creek
With Spud cavorting away in the islands of northern PNG, Lighting had the all- important task of trail master only to find very quickly that the clock had chimed 6.30 and the hares had not returned from their secret garden location with the all important map.
Meanwhile the runners led by Scotsman, Superglue and Plunger had made their own way to the trail by trial and error as the Hares returned to the start handing the baton to Lighting for a quick getaway.
Tedbury was a member of the Bidjigal clan (sometimes spelt ‘Bediagal’), the son of Pemulwuy (or Pim-el-wi). Both father and son fought as guerillas against the British colony. This resistance began with the fatal spearing by Pemulwuy of John McIntyre, Governor Arthur Phillip’s convict gamekeeper, who was hated by the Aboriginals, in
November 1790. It included attacks on Toongabbie and Parramatta. He was outlawed, with a price for his capture or killing. He was wounded and escaped. A bounty hunter finally killed him in 1802, and his head was sent to London. Tedbury continued the resistance, to be arrested at Pendant (Pennant) Hills in 1805. Tedbury’s last appearance in the records was in 1810. His name has been Anglicised and was probably more like Da-ba-ri, or Dada-ba-ri.
Little Shit, always the outsmarting smart arse, had decided to outsmart the Masterclass
hares and led a pack of unsuspecting runners including Moishe, Goonshow, Your
Choice , Tic Toc and Nigel ( still yet to understand the reputation of some hashmen)
down Shit Creek without a paddle again. This was a disaster which put them behind the
main pack without any hope of catching the front runners.
Colonel Sanders observed the cursing and raving of Little Shit below in the rugged
valley below having been totally out smarted by the hares who had layed a special trap
just for Little Shit – it was music to his ears!
The walkers led by Kyber, Sheep Dip ( enjoying his freedom once again) Pee Dub,
Baron Von Druck and Wanker were enjoying a delightful trail down Zig Zag creek then
across Berowra creek and were caught by a small falsey that led to a picturesque
waterfall which was well worth the visit . Jungle Jim , now with his umbrella in deerected
mode, sensed the cleverly set falsey and headed back to some wilderness
across Berowra creek where the Secret Garden appeared as if an apparition.
No ! it was not an apparition, but Changi, garbed in yellow, donning his top hat to greet
those that had made the effort to find his” secret garden” location and to receive
refreshments in the form of an assortment of freshly squeezed juices.
In fact, Changi had stumbled across Jungle Jim’s secret location in the bush where he
avidly catches up on his engineering journals now not available to him since being cast
on the scrap heap of retired engineers (another one soon to join him on the heap!)
Newnes Engineering Works Practice JJ’scomfortable bed line and pillows for relaxing
reading
Grape arrived on the scene at first thinking he might have stumbled on an old Japanese
command post – quickly realizing his error of judgment; he exclaimed “well that was a
bloody waste of time” and did a 180 to fight another day
Then Tic Toc arrived, but this time ,aware of the chagrin he would face if last week’s
events ever occurred again, carried his torch close to hand ( which was observed to
work) just in case!
Finally Lightning caught up to the tail enders and was heard mumbling under his breath about the invisible ink used to mark the falsey’s; one of which caught Plunger a ripper – a falsey up a steep hill, then down to another falsey to the left and then on back to the main trail – cursing followed – always a good sign!
Flying Scotsman, followed by Superglue , Plunger , Nautilus and Last Card Looney were first in with Little Shit a long way back after his disastrous decision. The On On, appropriately a facility for “Ageing Disabiity and Home Care”, was ideal for the JM’s to carefully prepare a gourmet salmon fillet meal together and strawberry desert.
President Pee Dub was back again in the chair as MC to firstly seek endorsement from
the pack for a well prepared value for money meal as he introduced down downs for the
Hares, Changi and Salpetre for a great run in superb territory ! -well done masterclass
hares and the “magic garden” Changi piped in to congratulate the committee for prepare superb tucker which was “warm, juicy and pink” ( that phrase has been used before!) followed by rapturous applause Nigel was spared from any embarrassment this week from his Plunger led sexcapades stories as Centrepoint made a serious announcement about any hashman going onto ebay to buy penis enlargers – it was a scam – when he ordered one it was really just a magnifying glass with Chinese instructions –“ caution!!! – DO NOT USE IN SUNLIGHT
To change the order of the night, Peedub asked the hares to introduce next week’s run but Khyber had slipped away under the cover of darkness as the pack lined up for their $25 meal  Next On On’s were for Sheep Dip for a welcome return to the fold and Goanna and his guest, introduced as a Business associate, David Cooper – give me a break , – a Goanna “screwed – down”electronic controls subby, who was who later told an anonymous  hashman that he was cheaper than Spud
Your Hash Journey
Receding Hairline
Runs:
• Next Week’s Run: Run No 2474 December 1st : Khyber and Wrappa Cnr
Morgan Rd & Kellys Way, Oxford Falls: On Site On On
• Run No 2475 December 8th: Flying Scotsman and Yakkity Yak Red Hill Reserve, off Lady Penryn Drive, Beacon Hill
• Run No 2476 December 15th: Grape and Colonel Sanders, West Pennant Hills
• Run No 2477 : SH3 Christmas Run December 22nd : JJ Melbourne Reserve, Terry Hills: lock in your diaries NOW ; A Committee Run – The Posh Christmas
Run with all the Christmas trimmings including Harriettes

Run 2469 – 27th Oct 2014

Jungle Jim and Scud – a Cuckoo run in Fairyland

With a pack of over 40, there was a good gathering of the pack at Kobada park just behind Scud HQ. The Hares Scud and Jungle Jim were quite proud of their handiwork  announcing that they had carefully created a walkers and runners trail and not to get lost.
Wombat, bright eyed and bushy tailed was there after his return from the country of his earlier wombat tails, sorry tales – Canada.  Goonshow had behaved himself by reading the circular and entering via the fire trail – well done Goonshow.  Lighting & Johno was there to redeem his family name after the ignomy of getting lost on last week’s run as was Goanna who was seen stuffing some provisions in his pocket after also missing his meal last week.

In addition to Nigel ,we had a jet setting pom from China who proudly announced his Hash name as the Only Gay in the Village – a bit of a mouthful we all thought! And Duckweave whose pussy at home was being well looked after.  The pack was off with all the normal split of the athletes and non-athletes.  Super athlete Little Shit, followed by Goonshow, Cinders, Nautilus ( with his sonar now working), Music Man ( dreaming of Thailand), Last Card Looney and Centrepoint showing a spring in his step after jungle training in preparation for Chiang Rai.  Kitty Litter with his derriere intact, was showing signs of regaining his former running glory on his first solid run for a few weeks after caressing his rear end after a surgeon’s knife had done its job.

Bringing up the walkers was the Druid, Pilko and Yakkity Yak as the group did a loop back to the Fullers bridge to be joined by the runners having skirted around Koboda rocks Moishe was now leading the runners but slightly bemused by the Hares new system of double headed arrows or could it be there was some plagiarism from Boxkite’s and Wankers run the previous week ( invoice in the mail).  Choice and Tic Toc,( much lighter these days from relief of producing run reports) were into the bush at Grosvenor and Lady Game Drive through the do not enter signs and over the felled trees only to be confronted once again by the weird looking device which of course they new exactly what it was the
“microbat save haven” – female bats sheltering from their randy male suitors.  Spud was doing a great job ensuring his flock of runners kept on trail as well as dreaming an relishing the prospect of having “dialogue” with Polar Bare the following week Changi was setting a great pace as the pack went up the rock path retracing the steps of former hares as he marvelled at the native flora along the trail.  Look – there is a greater periwinkle and a purple coral pea “ he exclaimed to S Bends with his boning rod in hand.  “I don’t care a fuck all I want are my fucking hops!” retorted S Bends.

The runners now split near the Naamaroo conference centre , now real single head arrows for a change, with a small group headed by Wrappa ,Payling, Polly, and Foxface hightailing for the bucket with Goanna running a long last ensuring that he did not get lost this week.
Lightning with son in tow had done it again – fucking took the wrong trail with Johnno now questioning his father’s ability was reported as saying – “ Dad; are we on the wrong trail – again” quick as a “flash”, Lightning, trying to save his fatherhood image and respect said, –“ of course not son – just doing some extra running”.  By now the pack was on River Avenue and with flashing lights everywhere ascended up to Scud HQ for well-deserved refreshments.

By this time Ayatollah with his chicken cookbook in hand this week had superbly cooked chicken ready to be dished out to the ravenous masses who were looking forward to a delightful dinner on a balmy night in Lane Cove.  President Peedub ( savouring the thought of a week off) led the pack with numerous down downs.  S Bends now the official photographer, was taking numerous shots of the self- promoting hashman, E Shit who was giving out dubious passes to a fucking boat show and showpiecing his phony Premiers Award light box – but which Premier ? – upon close examination it had been obviously photo shopped to give the impression of being famous!  Note: Scuds adorning arm ( the Only Gay in the village) Firstly Down Down’s for the hares Scud and Jungle Jim for a nearly original run but with the novel idea of double headed arrows then we had the The Only Gay in the Village from China ( building factories) with Peedub proclaiming it was lucky he was not a poofter.

Nigel ( of “Oh not Nigel” fame) had a another down down as Peedub recountered Nigel’s sailing career on Condom ( or was it Condor) and the chance opportunity to buy the concrete “brick” hulled Helsal.  Wombat was next up, looking remarkably young after his 3 months “exploring” Canada and to Bigamist for helping our mate Darwin Don move to the ground floor from the top floor but alas there are no women on the ground floor.  And finally the “Truth” was exposed about the double lives of Ayatollah and Kitty Litter who are working at Fox Studios on the set of a new Kate Blanchett and Robert Redford (more below).  Great jokes from Peedub and Tic Toc were told and finally a down down to E Shit for his reluctant announcement of a past Premier award that just happened to bit lit up !

Well done hares – On On to Tweety Pie and Tartan Bed at Allambie Heights

Your Hash JourneySummary of Run 2469
Distance: 7.76km
Elevation gain: 162m

2469map

Run 2465 – 29 Sept 2014

Ayatollah, French Connection and Duckweave

The Run Report

Where you went

2465map

Summary

  • Distance 9.31 km
  • Time: 1:02:49
  • Elevation Gain: 1 14m

It was a balmy September night in Nicholson Place in Crows Nest with great anticipation of a run par excellence- maybe even the run of the year!  They were all there with a good sized turnout with Plunger fresh from his adventures in Norway with King Cnut.  Everyone was there minus French Connection and Duckweave who decided that maybe a live hare run would be a good idea unbenowns to the Trailmaster.  There was even a cameo appearance from Tumut based Tiny Brain who, looking a little bedraggled, was after some respite following several hot and steamy conquests in the wild reaches of the Tumut Valley and fertile ground of the Canberra desperates – great to see you mate!

Off we went in great anticipation with the normal front runners of Scotsman, Moishe,
Lightning, Super, Cinders and the Shits ( Little and James Shit) leading the way down Lithgow Street with Calici Virus and Jungle Jim in hot pursuit.  The pack reformed again in Herbert Street with confusion reigning on high with hashmen, Scotsman, Super and Flasher searching high and low in every direction for the trail as the trailmaster, without any map, tried to make a silk purse out of a sours ear.  Tiny in his Tumut speak tongue was heard to mutter in dulcet tones- where the fuck is the trail.  Grape then piped up that there should be a new committee man called the half way bucket man to provide nourishment to the pack until the trail was found.  While all this was happening, the live hare French Connection was busily completing the trail although it was noted in dispatches that he was seen hitching a ride back to the bucket where Ayatollah was project managing his co hares by GPS.

It was about this time that Spud finally received his run details by Duckweave express post and the pack was off again having picked up the scent at Christie Street then left into Nicholson Place and right running parallel to the railway line.  At Francis Street, the runners group of Moishe, Benny, Music, Your Choice, and Scotsman entered the bush at Francis Street with the tennis courts on the right while the walkers led by PeeDub striding out in an impressive Presidential gait led the way into Waters Road.  An every observant Moishe and Flying Virgin reported back later that there was a throng of single women gathering in a nearby location and gave themselves blood pressure pills just in case it all went to one place.  As S Bend led the pack of walkers of Tyre Fruck, Druid, Baron Von Druk, Pee Dub, Centre Point and Scud up a dead end on Mitchell Street , Jack the Ripper was heard in the distance saying where are those fucking arrows.

About this time on the runners trail, Moishe was bounding ahead of the pack in his normal uncompetitive style and with no trailmaster in sight managed to be caught by the longest checkback in recent Hash History in the Hallstrom reserve- well done Moishe.  Back at the walkers camp, they had regrouped after Jack the Ripper found his arrows and with the core group of a dozen or more including Druid and Payling and the presidentially striding Pee Dub followed the bike trail under the freeway to Apex Street up the hill to Claire street and over the freeway bridge via Central Avenue.  Now on Willoughby Road and firmly on the home trail ,Tyre Fruck and S Bends were setting a fast pace until Flying Virgin and Centrepont disgraced themselves at the traffic lights at Dalley Road. A poor unsuspecting female and her poodle were accosted by the pair of hashmen feigning interest in the poodle called pooch.  It was then that Flying virgin with his hand now firmly on the dogs back was heard say – “ I actually prefer pussies to poodles” – with that comment , S Bends, Scud and Tyre Fruck quickly disappeared from the scene of the crime.

The walkers were then joined by Scotsman, Musicman, Little Shit and Superglue at Merrenburn Avenue who sprinted along Hume Lane to the bucket in Nicholson Street
where the 3 Muskateers were waiting to await the verdict of their live hare run.

The On On was held at the Shehnai restaurant with great northern Indian food followed by down downs to the hares,Ayatollah, French Connection and Duckweave (for a great live hare run), Little Shit and Musicman with a new committee initiative of some fresh new lyrics to the down down led my Calici and Centrepoint. Singh and TT were acknowledged for their food and restaurant with a traditional North Indian down down.
On On to the Larrikin hosted Joint Run at Waverton – see you all there